I Dreamed a Dream
by winnieandpig
Summary: Regina has had nightmares before. She's had them for as long as Henry could remember. When one of them causes things to get out of hand, though, Henry, Emma, and the Charmings must decide what to do about it before she hurts someone or herself. Takes place during Season 2
1. Dream a Little Dream

Rocinante ran through the woods as Regina ducked into the wind. Adrenaline coursed through her veins. She was almost to the edge of her father's estate; almost out of her mother's reach. It was then that fires began to consume the trees around her. Suddenly, she was being lifted high into the air. Below her, her beloved steed lay on the ground dead.

"Leaving so soon?" her mother's voice echoed. Regina struggled to see where the voice was coming from. Suffocation began to engulf her. She clawed at her throat. Cora's voice let out a sinister laugh.

"My dear, you'll never escape me."

"Mom!"

Regina's eyes burst open. The room was dark. Above her was Henry, grasping her shoulders and shaking her. Fear lingered on her face. A single tear coursed its way across her temple.

"Mom," Henry spoke with calmness in his voice, "It's okay."

Without saying a work, Regina turned her body away from Henry and pretended to drift back to sleep. It wasn't until she heard him pad out of the bedroom that she allowed her emotions to arise. Covering her mouth with her hand, she stifled her sobs.

* * *

The next morning, Henry sat in a booth at Granny's waiting for his grandparents and Emma. It was their Saturday tradition: breakfast at Granny's and then a walk around town. Sipping his cup of hot chocolate, he couldn't help but worry, though. His mother had had nightmares for as long as he could remember. He could remember sneaking into her room as a small boy and cuddling next to her until she quieted down. Lately, though, it had been harder to wake her from these dreams.

"Hey, kid," Emma said as she sat down next to him, "How long have you been here?"

The clock on the wall read 8:30.

"Not long," Henry lied. He'd been there for almost two hours. He stared at his hands encompassing his mug of chocolate.

"David and Mary Margaret should be here soon, so I'll go order," Emma said, "You want the usual?"

Henry nodded. His mind wandered and it wasn't until his grandparents were sitting in front of him that he realized he'd been adrift for quite some time.

"Henry," his grandmother started, "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine."

The trio sat in silence until Emma returned with Ruby in tow, both carrying plates of food.

"So, Henry," a smile beamed across Emma's face, "I was thinking we could show these two Walt Disney's interpretation of their lives this afternoon. What do you say?"

Henry chuckled.

"Sounds good. I need to be back home before dinner, though. Mom's making lasagna and apple pie."

The Charming family trio gave him an odd look.

"Not poisoned, that is."

The group laughed and ate their breakfasts. Henry could tell his grandparents were still uneasy about allowing him to stay at Regina's. She was using magic less and less and Henry knew she was really trying to change.

The afternoon went off without a hitch. Snow laughed at the portrayal of the dwarfs and David appreciated the amount of rosy in his character's cheeks. Emma asked for a rendition of one of the songs, and though Charming was prepared to blow their socks off, Snow was not a fan.

"Come on grandma," Henry pleaded, "You won't even sing to the birds?"

"Absolutely not," she protested, "Birds prefer to be talked to as an equal. Although I did hear once that bears prefer jazz."

* * *

That evening Henry and Regina ate and continued their binge of the Star Wars movies. Regina always joked that maybe this time "Darth Vader won't be Luke's father" or "the Emperor will turn out to be a nice guy." She did this to entertain herself more than anything. Henry had made her watch those movies so many times they'd had to replace the DVDs more than once.

Halfway into The Empire Strikes Back, Regina had dozed off. Usually, Henry would have woken her before a battle scene, but tonight he didn't. He placed a blanket over her and turned off the TV.

"Night mom," he whispered, kissing her on the forehead, "I love you."

Henry woke to the sound of rummaging that night. He assumed it was his mother in the bathroom getting ready, but the numbers on clock read 1:17. Now fully awake, Henry jolted out of bed and into his mother's room. Regina wasn't in bed. Running down the stairs towards the sound of the rummaging he found her digging through the drawers in the kitchen.

"Mom, what are you doing?"

She didn't answer. Not finding what it was she was seeking in the silverware drawer, she moved on to where she kept the spices, noncoherently mumbling as she went.

"Mom!"

She looked him straight in the eyes, but he knew she didn't see him.

"Daniel," she said to him, her voice a tone he'd never heard before. An innocence he'd never experienced.

"We have to go now."

"Mom, it's just a dream. Go back to bed."

A look of betrayal crossed her face.

"You're not coming with me?" anger overtook her voice and a hardness formed in her eyes.

"Mom, it's me, Henry."

She didn't hear him. She was lost in another world.

"This is because of Mother, isn't it? You're on her side. You're all conspiring against me. You, mother, and …,"

Henry hoped she wouldn't say it.

"Snow White."

A flame began to form in her hand. Thinking as fast as he could, Henry took the dishtowel from next to the sink and put it into her hand, hoping the cloth would smother the fire. Regina continued in her dreaming hallucination.

"Mom, wake up!" Henry shouted at her, "It's me Henry, your son!"

She grabbed him by the wrist and before he knew what had happened, they'd poofed into the Charming's apartment.


	2. Nightmare on Mifflin Street

Henry looked around. The apartment was dark except for a dim light coming from the bathroom.

"Mom, please," Henry pleaded, "Please, wake up!"

As Regina walked farther into the apartment, dragging Henry behind her, he hoped someone would still be up.

"Grandpa," urgency filled his voice, "Grandma, wake up!"

Holding Henry with one hand, Regina tried to form a fireball in the other. A puff of smoke emerged from beneath the still slightly damp dishtowel. She walked with an idiosyncrasy that could only be attributed to the Evil Queen. One foot directly in front of the other with her hand held in front of her, palm up, ready to create a fireball at any moment.

"Grandpa!" Henry's shout filled the residence.

Finally reaching the corner that Mary Margaret had deemed the bedroom, a wicked smile spread across Regina's face.

"Well, well, well," she sneered. More smoke emerged from beneath the towel.

"If it isn't my old friend, Snow White."

Charming shot out of the bed, grabbing his wife and shielding her with his body.

"She doesn't know what she's doing," Henry said, "She's dreaming. Sleepwalking."

Regina turned to look at him. It was as though she could finally see him, and yet she wasn't.

"Oh, Daniel," she said, returning to that innocent tone, "If only I hadn't lost you. I loved you so much."

Finally, Regina released Henry's wrist, and, with her free hand, she caressed his face. Henry gripped her shoulders, shaking her with all his might.

"What's going on?" Emma had come upon the seen half awake.

"You ruined my happiness, Snow White, so I shall end yours."

"She's dreaming," the words spilled out of Henry's mouth as fast as he could manage, "She doesn't know what she's doing."

The talk in the background didn't faze the Queen that was controlling Regina.

"I should have done this the first time I had the chance," Regina proclaimed. Finally setting the towel aflame, a fireball formed in her hands. The burning cloth fell to the ground. Henry rushed to stamp it out before the entire loft was set ablaze.

"Mom, no!" Henry yelled. Within seconds the flame had been put out, though. Emma used her magic to extinguish the fire and freeze Regina momentarily. Snow and David ran from Regina's eyesight and beckoned for Henry, but the boy would not move.

"Mom, please," he cried. As Emma's magic wore off, Henry wrapped his arms around the woman. Suddenly, everything changed. The façade of the Evil Queen disappeared, and the Regina crumpled to the floor along with Henry. He held her in his lap. Her eyes opened wide with confusion. She tried to speak but to no avail.

"It's okay," Henry said, mustering as much calm as he could, "It was just a dream."

It was as if she were a small child that had run to her parents after a nightmare. The woman on the floor sat up and Henry wrapped his arms around her. Muffled sobs permeated the small corner of the apartment.

Snow had gone into the kitchen and made herself busy as the scene had unfolded. Charming and Emma stood aside, spectators. Henry sat there on the floor in his grandparents' apartment with Regina on his shoulder for what seemed like hours. When, finally, the sobs had stopped and his mother was at last asleep again in his arms, Henry looked to his grandfather.

"What do I do?"

David stood, shocked.

"We'll drive you two home," Snow chimed in, "We'll put Regina to bed and then everyone will get some sleep. The rest we will figure out tomorrow."

And that they did. David scooped Regina into his arms and carried her to Snow's vehicle. Snow, Henry, and Emma followed him. Before getting into the car, Emma pulled Henry aside.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just shaken up a bit," he responded, "I'll be fine tomorrow."

"Henry," Emma pressed, "Has this happened before?"

"Emma," Snow said, "Tomorrow."

Once they had finally reached the Mayor's house, Henry had to be roused. Charming carried Regina up to her room and laid her in her bed.

"I'll stay," said Snow, "In case anything else happens."

"No, I'll stay," argued David.

Emma disagreed with both of them, saying that she was best equipped to stay since she had magic.

"You don't need to stay," Henry finally said, "It only happens once a night. She'll be fine until morning."

With that being said, he hugged each member of his family and thanked them before saying goodnight. Henry sat in his room and watched as Mary Margaret's car drove away. He turned on his computer and went searching for what could cause something like this. The most common answer he found was sleep deprivation, but Henry feared that the cause of Regina's problem was something far more serious than that. Something far more magical.


	3. An Awakening

David, Snow, and Emma sat at the kitchen table.

"If she's reverting back to her old ways, even subconsciously, I don't see a way around this. We've got to lock her up before she hurts someone," David stated.

"No!" Snow argued with a shout.

"Snow," Charming said, reaching towards her with an open hand, "I know this is hard for you but -"

"No, you don't, David."

Frustration and desperate anger began to boil in Snow's blood.

"For almost ten years I lived with that woman. I looked up to her. She was my friend…she is my friend," she spoke with the power of a queen. Now on her feet, she lay her hands on the table before her.

"For all of those years, she kept that anger, that rage, buried inside of her. If she really wanted to kill me, she could have done it then. Regina had the ability, the means. Yet, I'm still here."

Looking at the bafflement on David's, Snow couldn't help but feel proud.

"And you think that what's she's going though is under her control? David, we have no idea what she's been though. You never spent time with Cora. She was an awful, wicked…"

Unable to hold back tears, Snow turned stormed out of the apartment. Emma and David stood but neither chased after her.

"Wow, she's taking this pretty hard," said Emma.

"Yeah," Charming muttered, "Why don't you get some sleep. I'll wait for your mother."

Without argument, Emma walked up the stairs to her bed and turned out the light. David slowly opened the door to the apartment, slightly surprised to see his wife sitting on the stairs.

"I figured you'd gone out for a walk," he said, sitting down next to her.

"I just needed to think," Snow bit back, brushing the tears from her face.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," David wrapped an arm around his wife, "I didn't realize Regina meant so much to you."

Snow's body shook as she tried to rebuild the dam that held back her tears. The two sat in silence for a moment.

"Let's go back to bed," Charming suggested, but Snow didn't reply. She was lost in thought. Giving her shoulder a gentle nudge, David broke her concentration.

"We'll think about it in the morning," David assured her, kissed her on the forehead, and led her back into the apartment.

* * *

Henry hadn't been able to go back to sleep. The fear of being wrong, that his mother would have another nightmare, kept him awake. An hour had passed when he heard his mother's door slide open. He'd have thought nothing of it if he hadn't then heard the stairs creak. Bolting out of bed, he opened his door as quietly as he could and looked down the stairs. Regina had turned on the lights in the kitchen. Rushing down the stairs, Henry feared a recap of the events that had taken place not two hours before. This time, though, he didn't hear the opening and closing of drawers. Instead, the clinking of glass against the counter and pouring of liquid. She was awake.

"I know you're awake," Regina called from the kitchen.

Henry froze. Did she really know or was she just covering her bases?

"Henry Daniel Mills."

Totally busted, Henry drifted into the kitchen to find a class of orange juice sitting on the counter for him. Taking a sip of it, the two stood, leaning on the kitchen island, in silence. Henry didn't know what to say. He wanted to make sure his mother was okay without seeming worried. But he also wanted his mother to know that he was worried about her.

"Did you know damp towels can prevent magical fireballs for up to three tries?" Henry joked, hoping to lighten the mood. Regina didn't find it funny. Taking a sip of whatever it was she was drinking, probably something a bit stronger than orange juice, she stared at the wall. Extremely unsure of what to do now, Henry downed the rest of his drink.

"Well, goodnight," he said, awkwardly smiling. As he turned to leave the kitchen his mother's voice broke the silence.

"Henry."

He stopped and turned to face her. Her eyes were shiny with tears. Stepping towards her son, Regina pulled him into an embrace. She didn't say anything, but she didn't need to. Henry already knew everything.

* * *

Sunday usually meant Henry ate breakfast with Regina, but she had left the house before he woke that morning. Emma picked him up with a box of donuts waiting for him.

"Chocolate frosted?" Henry hoped.

"Sorry kid, just plain old chocolate," Emma replied, "So what's on the agenda today? Movie marathon? Walk in the park? Try to take over the world?"

Henry forced a smile but released it a tad too soon.

"Hey, kid, don't worry. We'll figure this out, okay."

"I know we will," he turned to face his mom, "You're heroes, it's your job to figure it out."

* * *

Regina had locked herself in her office early that morning. The town hall wasn't open on Sundays, but she didn't want to risk having to interact with anyone. Not having slept at all, she downed her third cup of coffee. The morning drug on and by early afternoon she'd finished everything she'd needed to finish for the next month.

The Mayor had resisted the urge to lay her head down on her desk, but the temptation had become too much. Sleep didn't come for her, though. Each time she closed her eyes, flashes of her past unfolded behind her eyelids. Images of her mother, her lost love, her father, Leopold, and things she wished not to remember, they were all there.

Reluctantly, Regina lifted her head and began searching for things to do. Budget reports were the first thing to come to mind. Getting right back to work, the woman poured herself another cup of coffee.


	4. Memories of a Dream

Regina ran through the palace, a small bag in tow. Each turn seemed to lead her farther into an unescapable maze. A voice echoed through the halls. Regina covered her ears, hoping to keep out the voice. Another turn led her down the same hallway she'd run down not seconds before. Looking around, the windows moved like water, rippling. It was all becoming too much. The voice was becoming louder, and each turn only caused her to become more lost. She pressed her hands harder against her ears, but the voice had seeped through her fingers. It screamed inside her head, searing her ears. She couldn't think.

Regina sat straight up. It was her. She was the screaming. The mayor rubbed her temples and tried to calm her breathing. The nightmares that had haunted her for so many years were becoming more violent, more lifelike. She couldn't escape them. As Regina stood to leave her office, a hair brushed against her ear and an awful pain radiated through her head. Charging towards the mirror, Regina turned her head and gasped. Her ears were burned.

* * *

The Charmings sat in a booth at Granny's with Emma and Henry. The afternoon rush had just died down and they were the only ones left in the diner. They'd sat in awkward silence for longer than anyone cared to admit.

"So, Henry," Mary Margaret started, "Did anything else happen last night?"  
"She woke up, like actually woke up, an hour after you left, but nothing else happened."

They sat in silence once again. Emma thought back to her bail bonds days. She'd never had to ask the hard questions, that information had always come to her in files.

"Kid, how'd you know she wouldn't have another nightmare?" Emma asked.

Henry sat for a moment, hesitating.

"Henry," Charming said, "It's okay. We just want to help."

"She's been having nightmares for as long as I can remember," the boy started, "She's been having them more and more often and she's been harder to wake up. The other night it took me twenty minutes to shake her awake. She's never slept walk, though. That was a first."

Henry stared down at his hands. He felt so ashamed.

"I've tried to help her. I lay with her until she falls back asleep and, sometimes, I make her breakfast when she's had a rough night."

Emma wrapped her arms around him and kissed him on the top of his head. A hiccupping sob escaped his mouth.

"I guess I just didn't do a good enough job."

A tear streamed down his cheek.

"No, Henry," Snow urged, "Don't say that. You did everything you could."

Henry glanced up at his grandmother, she too had tears in her eyes.

"Hey kid, let's take a walk," Charming said, standing up. Taking his grandson by the back of the neck, he led him out the door.

Snow and Emma sat silently, sipping coffee and thinking.

"I think I'll need to call Archie after this," Emma remarked, "I can't imagine what's going through his head about this whole mess."

"He's worried," Snow replied, staring off into the distance, "He wants help but doesn't know how to…"

Her voice trailed off, but, then, it came running back to her.

"She hasn't always had these nightmares."

Emma stared at her blankly.

"They didn't start until she'd lived in the palace for a few weeks," an overflow of memories hit Snow like a wall. Emma leaned in, placing two hands around her cup of coffee, waiting for the story to continue.

"I remember the first time it happened. It was late one night, and I had snuck out of my chambers to see the stars. All of a sudden this terribly cry filled the entire wing of the palace. Regina's chamber wasn't far from mine. Guards started running towards her room, so, of course, I followed them. They thought she was being attacked so they barged in with their swords drawn.

"I ran in behind them and she was just lying there, screaming. No one knew what to do. The guards weren't allowed to touch the Queen unless she was in mortal danger, so I crawled into bed next to her and tried to wake her. Within minutes Cora had magicked there and told everyone to leave. I don't know what she did. The next day she put a silencing spell on Regina's chamber. That was the last I'd heard about the nightmares."

"What do you think caused them?" Emma asked.

"I'm not sure. She's had a rough life. A lot rougher than that storybook of Henry's tells."

"How do you know that?" Emma was now more invested in the story than ever.

"Her father told me."


	5. Gasping for Air

The Mills house was quiet. When Henry had returned from his outing with the Charmings, Regina had been in the backyard picking apples. Usually, this was an activity she preferred to do alone, but Henry decided to ask if she wanted any help. His mother had forced a smile but did not say yes or now. Without saying more than a few words the rest of the evening, Regina put herself to bed early. Now, Henry lie in his bed with a comic book and flashlight.

Given the occurrence of the prior night, he'd decided to stay up until midnight just to be sure Regina was safe. The clock read 10:45 when noise started coming from Regina's room. Henry had finished his comic book and had taken up watching a video on his phone. At first, it sounded like she was on the phone. Henry grew more concerned as her voice became louder.

"Please, stop!" she shouted.

Henry jumped out of bed, placing his phone in his back pocket, and rushed to her door. Inside, his mother was standing at the foot of her bed, yelling into oblivion.

"Leave me alone!"

Henry worried the neighbors would hear. Running to stand in front of his mother, Henry prepared himself to face fireballs or whatever magic his mother threw at him.

"Mother, no!"

Breaking away from Henry's grasp, Regina ran out of the room, reenacting a memory.

"Daddy, please," she whimpered, "Help me!"

Nearing dangerously close to the stairs, Henry lunged towards her.

"Mother, I didn't mean to. I'm sorry!"

Tears ran down her face. She took a step back, her heel hovering over the top step. Henry grabbed her by the forearm just in time. Collapsing on the floor with her, Regina awakened. Unable to say a word, she gulped in air, searching her surroundings for someone who wasn't there.

"Mom, it's okay. You're fine," Henry tried to reassure her. Regina, however, was not fine. No matter how hard she tried, she could not catch her breath. Henry sat at the top of the steps holding his mother, rubbing her back, combing back her hair, doing everything he could to calm her down. Nothing worked. Worried now, more than ever, Henry took his phone out of his pocket and dialed Emma.

"Hey, kid, kind of late for a school night. What's up?" she answered.

"It's my mom. I don't know what's wrong. She can't breathe and I can't get her to calm down."

As Henry talked on the phone with Emma, he could hear his grandparents in the background debate on what to do.

"Okay, uh, we'll be there in two minutes," Emma said, hanging up.

"You're going to be okay," Henry said, reassuring himself more than his mother. Pushing away from her son, Regina vomited onto the floor next to her. Henry leaned forward, holding back her hair.

Emma, Snow, and David came scrambling into the Mayor's house within five minutes; all three gasped when they discovered the former Evil Queen. Snow instantly took Henry's place at the top of the stairs as Emma took charge of the situation.

"Henry, how long has she been like this?" Emma asked, more forcefully than she meant to.

"I…I don't know, maybe ten minutes?"

"Should we take her to the hospital?" David chimed in.

"Maybe, if we can't get her breathing under control," Emma responded.

"Henry," Snow said from the top of the stairs, "Calm down, it's okay."

Henry had begun pacing and running his hands through his hair, his face red.

"Kid, hey, you're okay," Emma whispered to her son, hugging him, "Just take a deep breath."

Henry breathed in and out, his breaths catching at the back of his throat as he tried not to cry. Regina continued to struggle to breathe. Though she had run out of tears minutes ago, she continued to cry.

"David, can you see if you can find some carpet cleaner somewhere?" Snow instructed him. Henry continued to pace, his face becoming a brighter shade of red.

"Kid, let's go outside," Emma said, taking him by the back on the neck.

* * *

Sitting on the front steps, Henry retold the night's events to his mom.

"I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't caught her," he said, crying into Emma's lap.

"Henry," she said, nudging for the boy to sit up, "I am so proud of you."

She placed one hand on his shoulder, taking his chin into her other hand.

"You're the bravest kid I know."

* * *

Snow sat, rubbing her once stepmother's back, waiting for the rest of her family.

"Regina, hey, can you hear me?"

The woman nodded her head.

"Okay, you're going to be okay, I promise."

David returned minutes later with a roll of paper towels and a bottle with a faded label.

"I'm not sure what this is, but it's better than nothing.

Working as a team, the Charmings helped Regina to stand and walked her towards her bedroom. The Mayor had regained her breath but was unable to halt her crying. Setting her down on the bed, the two tried to back away to give her some space, but Regina clung to both of their arms.

"Please don't leave," she whispered to the couple, "I don't want to be alone."

"Okay," Charming said, glancing over at his wife, "We'll stay as long as you need us to."

As if she'd only just begun to cry, tears began to stream from Regina's eyes.

"I'm sorry," was all she managed to say.

"Regina, it's okay," Mary Margaret reassured her, taking the woman's hand into her own.

From the bedroom, the trio heard the front door open and Emma call out to them. David stood to leave, but Regina did not release his arm. Understanding that she wanted him to stay, too, he kneeled in front of her, taking her hand in his as he had seen his wife do.

"We're here for as long as you need," he said.

Regina stared into her lap.

"I… I need help."


	6. Deafening Silence

Regina sat in Archie's office with Henry at her side.

"So, I'd like to start today with just a recap of what has happened these last few days," the man said. Henry looked up at his mother, but she stared, stoic, at the wall. Henry recounted the events as accurately as he could. He could feel Regina tense as he recalled the things she had said.

"Do you remember any of this happening?" Archi directed his question towards the Mayor. She shook her head back and forth, shifting her stare from the wall down to her hands, folded in her lap. Henry took one of them into his own and squeezed.

"Regina, do you want to talk about the things you were dreaming about?"

She shook her head again.

"Okay, that's okay," Archie replied to her nonverbal response, "Henry, I know you've talked about, in our sessions, that you are worried about your mother. Is there anything you want to say to her now?"  
Shifting his body to face hers, Henry took her other hand into his.

"I am worried about you," Henry started, "So, so worried. I know you've always had nightmares and they've been our secret, but they've never been like this. You've never tried to hurt anyone before. You've never hurt yourself before. I know you didn't think I saw your ears the other day, but I did."

Regina's eyes began to blur as a single tear fell onto the leather couch she was settled on.

"I just want you to get better. You've come so far. There is good inside of you. You may not see it and you may not believe it is there, but I do. I believe in you."

When the session came to an end at the top of the hour, Dr. Hopper had compiled a few pages of notes. Regina, though, had not said a word.

"Regina," Archie said as the mother and son walked towards the door, "I asked Blue if she could have one of these made for you, to wear at night."

He handed Regina a black cuff.

"Henry will be able to take it off for you in the mornings."

Inside, the Evil Queen was enraged. Regina, however, knew that the gesture was to keep both her and Henry safe. She nodded, taking the cuff, and walked out.

"Thanks, Archie," Henry said, "See you Wednesday."

* * *

Pink light shone through the windows of the apartment. The sun was setting as Emma, Snow, and David sat around the table finishing dinner.

"Well, I've got patrol tonight," David said, scooping the last bit of food off his plate.

"Have fun," Emma said sarcastically. Charming smirked at her, kissed his wife, tousled his daughter's hair, and slipped out the door.

"So," Emma said after she heard David's car start outside, "Red or white?"

Mary Margaret laughed.

"White."

While her mother gathered the dirty dishes, Emma opened a bottle of wine and poured two glasses.

"Mom, can I ask you a question?"

"Emma, if you're going to joke about not knowing where babies come from again, I'm really not in the mood," her mother said.

"No, I…" the savior hesitated, "What did Cora do to Regina?"

Snow drew a sharp breath in.

"We're going to need another bottle."

* * *

"Henry, do you have your homework done?" Regina called up the stairs, hearing sounds of video games coming from her son's room. Almost immediately the noise ceased.

"That's what I thought," she muttered under her breath. Starting up the stairs herself, Regina saw the stain on the carpet from the night before with a bottle and roll of paper towels next to it. With a huff, she rolled up her sleeves. Might as well do this now, she thought to herself.

"Want help?" her son said, coming up behind her.

"No, it's my mess, I'll clean it up," Regina responded sharply. It was a sweet gesture, but something about her son cleaning up her vomit was not ideal.

"What did you think about the session with Archie today?" Henry pressed on, ignoring the tone of his mother's voice.

"It was fine."

Henry knew he wasn't going to get his mother to monologue about her experience, but he had hoped for more than three words.

"Are you going to use the cuff?"

The Mayor looked up from her cleaning. Her son's face held a twinge of worry.

"Would you feel safer if I did?" she asked, worrying what his answer would be. Henry didn't move. Trying to hold back the fear of what his answer would be, Regina scrubbed at the carpet harder. So many answers were running through Henry's head. None of them felt like the right answer, but none of them were lies.

The two sat at the top of the stairs in silence. Regina stopped scrubbing. The stain had long been released from the fibers, but no amount of cleaner would be able to remove the memories from that night. Nothing would be able to take those images out of her son's mind.

"I'm not scared of you," Henry finally said, "I'm scared for you."


	7. A Changing Story

Snow and Emma lounged on the couch, each downing their second glass of wine.

"It was common knowledge throughout the Enchanted Forest that Cora Mills was a powerful woman," Snow sounded like the narrator at the beginning of a movie, "She was cunning, and manipulative, and she had magic. When my father proposed to Regina, he didn't know what he was getting himself into. It, obviously, was not going to be a marriage of love, but an alliance with Cora was a very valuable thing."

"Rumplestiltskin," Emma stated. Snow nodded

The room darkened as the last of the sun's light slipped under the horizon.

"I don't see what this has to do with Regina, though," Emma was growing unsure about her mother's knowledge.

"Cora was an awful mother. Even Regina's father attested to that. Once, he came to visit me in the palace gardens. My father had just died, and I was so mad at the world, at everything. Henry sat with me while I cried. I remember asking him how his daughter could remain so cold after losing her husband. I'll never forget what he told me."

Snow poured herself the rest of the wine.

"He said Regina experienced so much hurt every day, he wondered how she was able to feel at all."

Emma scrunched her forehead.

"What does that mean?"

"I didn't know what he meant, until I saw it for myself," Snow said before finishing her drink, "I told you before that Cora had placed a silencing spell on Regina's chambers, well, that spell only worked if the door was closed. One afternoon, I was wandering through the halls of the palace. I walked towards Regina's chambers and I could hear muffled voices. As I got closer, I saw that her door was ajar. Inside were Regina and Cora. At first, I thought they were just having a disagreement. Then Cora reached out her hand and wrapped it around Regina's neck. I was so paralyzed with shock I couldn't stop watching. It was like watching a car crash."

"Wait, I always figured Cora used magic on Regina," Emma said, confused.

"Oh, she did. When she pulled her hand away, Regina's neck was burned, severely. After that, she whispered something into Regina's ear, healed the burns, and then slapped her daughter. Regina never even shed a tear. I can't imagine what kind of things she endured to build up that kind of pain tolerance."

Snow stopped, seeming to drift off immediately.

"You okay?" her daughter asked.

"Yeah, I just don't want to talk about this anymore," Snow responded, distancing herself from the topic, "Goodnight."

* * *

Regina was trapped. Suspended in the air, her worse nightmare was playing out before her. They were in the meadow of her father's estate where Regina had ridden her horse as a child. This nightmare was different than all the rest, though. This time, her most beloved possession was at risk.

In front of her, Cora stood holding Henry by the neck. The way she had held Regina so many times. Her mother's hand began radiating heat. Henry screamed, pleading for her to stop. Regina knew his pain well, but, though she tried to get to him, her mother's magic was too strong.

"Say goodbye, Regina," Cora said, "Love has made you weak."

Henry fell to the ground.

"Henry!" Regina wailed. Something tightened around her shoulders, shaking her.

"Mom," a voice said.

Regina's eyes opened. Next to her was the thing she had just lost, Henry.

"Oh, Henry," Regina said, sitting up. Her hand touched at his neck. He wasn't gone.

"My Henry."

* * *

Archie flipped to a new page in his notes. Madam Mayor sat in the chair across from him, alone.

"Regina, I want to start off by saying that this is a safe and confidential space. Anything you say here will remain between us."

The woman nodded.

"So how has the cuff been working? I know it's only been two days, but do you think you've seen any improvement?"  
"I'm not throwing fireballs if that's what you mean," Regina said.

Archie chucked.

"Well, it's a start."

Pausing for a moment, he noticed the woman in his office was staring at her hands, the same way she had during the first session.

"Regina, why don't you tell me what you're feeling right now? Are you scared or embarrassed?"

She scoffed.

"Embarrassed? I'm mortified. I've been sent to therapy because I had a bad dream and almost killed someone."

"What else?" Dr. Hopper asked, unphased by her sharp answer. Regina resumed staring at her hands in her lap.

"Regina, it's okay. I'm not here to judge."

She sat a moment, gathering her thoughts.

"I feel ashamed," she finally said, no louder than a whisper.

"Why's that?"

The Mayor didn't answer.

"Okay," Archie said, jotting a few notes down, "Why don't we talk about these things you've been dreaming about. When you're dreaming, do you know you're dreaming?"

Regina nodded.

"I do, but they seem so real. They're not so much dreams as they are distorted memories. Everything jumbles together."

"Can you tell me about the dream you had the other night? Henry mentioned in his session that something happened had never happened before."

Regina recounted her dream in such immense detail, Archie was shocked. She told him about the suspension in the air; how she could feel the magic gripping around her. How her mother had grabbed Henry the same way she had always grabbed Regina. How Cora had burned him. When it came time to retell the ending of the nightmare, she teared up.

"And she killed him."

"Do you want to talk about how that made you feel?" Archie asked.

The mayor shook her head.

"Okay, that's okay," the psychiatrist assured her, "What made this dream different from all the other ones you've had?"  
"Henry. He's never been there before, in any of them."


	8. After the End

"The dreams started when I was around twelve or thirteen. I'd run away from home…"

"What happened when you ran away?" the psychiatrist pressed, feeling that he was finally getting to the root of the source.

"Dr. Hopper, have you ever heard of magical whipping?" the woman asked, suddenly stepping into the façade of a politician. The man shook his head.

"It was used as a form of torture before the first Ogre War. It's when a sorcerer splinters magic through a leather whip. When the magic hits your body, it tears through your skin, leaving shards of magic embedded in whoever the victim is," she stopped, trying to keep up the wall she had built. Archie sat back in his chair, reading between the lines. His entire view of the once Evil Queen changed.

"That magic stays in your skin, forever. The only scars unable to be healed by magic, because they are magic."

Archie closed his door and locked it at the end of Regina's session. It had taken an immense amount of control to stay seated with a poker face. He thought he had heard it all. This, though, this was beyond his experience. The once Evil Queen had told him about the structure of a magical scar. How they could inflict pain years after the whipping, like memories able to replay themselves.

She'd never said it was her who received the whipping or why she had brought it up, but she didn't have to. Archie knew. There was more to Regina's past than the cricket had imagined.

* * *

Henry sat with Emma at Granny's. They'd ordered hot chocolate and had started in on his math homework.

"Do you guys want to order food?" Ruby came over with her pad.

"I could go for a grilled cheese," the savior said, "How 'bout you kid?"

"Hamburger, please," he said with a toothy grin.

"Coming right up," Ruby said, "Oh, and number five is wrong. You need to multiply the fractions, not add them."

"Whoa, maybe you should be helping him, and I'll take orders," Emma laughed.

The bell above the diner door rang as Mayor Mills walked into the restaurant. Ignoring everyone in the eatery, she sat at the counter and ordered a drink.

"Did think of you as much of a day drinker," Ruby commented, setting the glass in front of her.

"Rough day," Regina said hoarsely. She downed the drink in one swallow. Laying a few bills on the counter, Regina left the diner.

"She met with Archie today," Henry said, responding to what he had just seen.

"How's that been going? Has it helped?" Emma had been too scared to ask the woman herself about the going-ons of her therapy sessions.

"I think so. I hope so."

* * *

"How do you feel about hypnosis?" Archie asked.

"I- I don't know," the Mayor said, beginning to rub her knuckles against her lips.

"I think it would help us to get a deeper understanding of what's going on, if you'd be willing to try."

Hesitantly, the woman nodded.

"There may be times that you fall deeper into the hypnosis and feel unsafe or that the things you are experiencing are real," the psychiatrist said as Regina moved to lie on the couch, "If you'd like I can give you something to hold, or lots of people like for me to bring in Pongo so they can pet him."

"Is there a third option?" Regina asked sarcastically.

"We could bring in Henry."

"No!" Regina refused outright. She was scared of what might happen or what she might say while venturing into the unknown of her mind, she didn't want Henry to see that.

As Archie began to guide the woman through the relaxation process, Regina's mind went blank. For the first time in as long as she could remember, she was relaxed. Archie led her through a world in her mind that she was not aware existed. It was as though she were outside of her body yet still in her mind. His voice was distant, and Regina found herself following his suggestions without fully understanding them.

"Regina, I'm going to ask you to do something that may cause you some distress, is that alright?"

The woman felt herself nodding.

"When you have nightmares, who do you see?"

In her mind, she saw her mother.

"Anyone else?"

There was no one.

"Can you think back to a memory that may have been replayed in one of your dreams?"

Immediately Regina was transported to the stables. Her dead love lay on the ground at her feet. Cora stood over them with the dust of his heart still in her hand.

"You dream about your mother killing Daniel?"

"Yes," Regina heard herself say, "But it doesn't end there."

Cora grabbed Regina by the hair and pulled her towards the manor. Throwing her into her chambers, Cora slammed the door. She slapped her daughter across the face, causing the scar on Regina's lip to reopen.

"You witless girl," Cora glowered, "You really thought you could get away didn't you."

She slapped her, again, with a force that threw Regina to the ground. The doors to her chamber burst open as Regina's father came running into the room.

"Cora, what are you doing?"

With a subtle flick of her wrist, Cora forced Henry out of the room and locked the doors. With the other hand, she magicked Regina into the air by the throat. Regina clawed at the invisible force holding her aloft.

"Mother," she choked, "Why are you doing this?"

"Because, my darling, you disobeyed me. Disobeying children get punished."

Cora released her grasp and Regina dropped to the floor. Crying, she leaned on her hands, trying to regain her breath.

"Quit your crying, girl, and clean yourself up. We have guests for dinner."

"I just wanted to be happy," the girl whispered, "I loved him."

She stared as a single tear fell from her cheek, leaving a droplet on the floor.

"Love is weakness."


	9. Blue Velvet

Regina was awakened by Dr. Hopper's voice. She sat up on the couch, wiping accidental tears from her eyes. A burning pain came from her hands. Her fingernails had cut into her palms, drawing blood. Archie handed her a tissue and a couple of bandages from his desk drawer.

"Do you want to be done for today?"

Regina nodded. Standing up, she handed him a payment check for her sessions that week and walked out. Stopping just before the entrance door, the Mayor took a deep breath, putting the mask of strength and power back on.

When she returned to her office, a box sat on her desk with a bow. Beneath it lay a note:

_Mom,_

_ I saw this in Mr. Gold's shop and thought of you._

_ Love,_

_ Henry_

Opening the gift, a flutter arose in Regina's chest. Inside was a box made of walnut. Carefully she lifted the lid. Tears began to form in her eyes. The box was lined with a blue-gray velvet. Her favorite color. A smile spread across her face and her arms wrapped themselves around her. Inside was a glass horse running, it's main flowing in the wind. Rocinante.

Taking the wooden box under her arm, she left the office. Somehow, Henry had known exactly what she needed.

* * *

Henry sat on a stool in Mary Margaret's apartment, struggling to understand his math homework. Looking at the clock next to his grandparents' bed, he realized if he didn't leave soon, he'd be late for dinner.

"Grandma, it's almost time for me to leave," Henry shouted in no particular direction., gathering his homework and placing it into his bag. Hopping down from the stool, he hurried into the bathroom. There was a knock on the door.

"Regina," Snow said, opening the door to allow the woman in, "I was just getting ready to take Henry home. I hope he's not late."

"No I…," an awkwardness hung in the air, Regina had avoided her old enemy until now, "I thought I could save you the trip and gas money. It's getting cold outside, anyway."

Noticing the wooden box in Regina' s possession, Snow tried to hide her smile. Henry had asked her if they could stop into Mr. Gold's the other day because he wanted to buy his mother a gift. Snow knew as soon as she saw the glass figurine, it was perfect for her.

Regina looked tired, though. The circumstances of her visit could not mask the obvious effect sessions with Archie were having.

"Mom," a hint of anxiety hid below the surface of Henry's voice. He looked at the clock across the apartment again. He wasn't late.

"I figured I'd save everyone a trip and pick you up on my way home from work."

Trying not to let out a noticeable sigh of relief, Henry noticed something different about the woman's demeanor. For weeks she had cast a somber shadow wherever she went. Standing in the doorway, the air around her seemed lighter. Quickly, he put on his coat, grabbed his bag, and headed for the door. He was met with a long embrace from his mother. She kissed his head.

"Thank you."

The two rode home in good spirits. Henry, taking advantage of this occasion, filled the car ride with anecdotes about his day. Regina did not have to force her smile, and, for the first time in a long time, she laughed.

"What do you say to a movie night?" Regina said, pulling into the driveway, "I promise I won't fall asleep this time."

When the table was cleared and the popcorn freshly popped, the duo snuggled into the couch and fixed their eyes on the television screen. Regina tried to not let her thoughts wander, but, try all she might, her efforts did not heed results. She thought of Henry and the day the curse had been broken. She thought of the night she'd poofed them into the Charming's apartment. So many thoughts had taken root in her mind, she'd run out of space to breathe. Trying to gather her bearings, Regina grabbed Henry's hand. He turned to look at her, expecting his mother to be staring at him for no reason, the way mothers do. Instead, he found her with a concerned look on her face, burning a hole in the wall with her glare.

"Everything okay?" he asked, trying not to sound too worried. Regina could not contain her thoughts inside her head any longer.

"Can I ask you a question?"

The boy nodded, turning his body to face hers.

"When I told you, that day at the hospital, that I loved you no matter what anyone else told you, did you believe me?"

A knot grew in Henry's throat. He had thought so many horrible things about Regina back then. She had done so many awful things: tried to kill Emma, framed Mary Margaret for murder.

"Please be honest," Regina coaxed him, seeing that a battle was being fought in his head.

"I think… I think somewhere I knew you loved me. At that moment, though, I didn't know if I wanted you to."

Henry looked down in disgust of himself.

"I'm sorry I made you feel that way," Regina's voice cracked. She didn't know what else to say. She wasn't a victim here, Henry was.

"I don't blame you," a small voice escaped from the woman's mouth. The two sat in awkward silence.

"Mom," Henry looked up, "Can I ask you a question?"

As expected, Regina nodded. She owed him answers.

"Have you always loved me?"

A sharp breath entered the woman's lungs.

"Wel-well, Henry, there was a long time, before I got you, that I thought I'd never be able to love a child. I didn't think I knew how. But then I held you in my arms on that first day and everything changed. I have loved you every day, since that first day, with my whole being. I don't think it's possible for me to not."

Henry wiped a tear from her face with his sleeve.

"I love you, too."


	10. I Wish I Could Tell You

"How have your dreams been?" Archie asked, opening the session with the most important question.

"They've gotten better," Regina answered, hoping that this answer would suffice.

"How do they compare to how they used to be?" the doctor asked.

"Well, they're not as intense anymore. Mostly it's like I'm reliving memories."

"And is Henry still showing up in your dreams?"

Regina let out a relieved sigh.

"No, he's not."

Archie jotted some notes down on his pad.

"Regina, you've told me about the harder side of your childhood, but were there every any good times? Maybe if we bring them to the surface your dreams won't always be bad.

The Mayor thought for some time.

"There were days when I knew something was different. Mother would look at me and not see a disappointment, she'd see me," Regina's voice splintered, "Days when she'd brush her hands through my hair, and I could feel that they were warm. Mother was never a warm person, but I knew that she could have been. She just needed her heart; on those days she had it."

A subtle smile brushed itself across Regina's face. As swiftly as it appeared, it retreated, and her eyes glazed over.

"She just needed her heart," she muttered.

"How does that make you feel?" Archie asked, not knowing in what direction the question would lead. Regina gripped her hands, causing her knuckles to whiten.

"Like I was worthless," Regina whispered, "Like I was such a disappointment to her that she couldn't stand to love me."

"And what about your father?" Dr. Hopper asked after a time.

"My father was my best friend," her voice crumbled under the weight of her emotions, "There was never a time that I felt like my father truly hated me. He taught me everything. How to ride a horse, how to pick apples…," the once Evil Queen let out a chuckle, "He even taught me how to braid my own hair."

The woman was suddenly immersed in her memories.

"He taught me how to love."

Archie allowed his patient to sit, wrapping herself in the thought of her father, for nearly forty minutes.

"Regina," he said softly, "If your parents were here, what would you say to them?"

She looked up at him with red eyes. Fidgeting in her seat, the woman finally stood up and began to walk the perimeter of the room. Oceans of emotions and words flooded her thoughts. She wrung her hands until they felt as though the skin would peel off in her hands.

"Let's start with your mother. If your mother was here, what would you say to her?"

She closed her eyes, imagining her mother in front of her. She took a deep breath.

"I'd ask her what was so wrong with me that I was impossible to love. I'd ask her why she always did what she thought was best for me but never ask me what I thought. I'd ask her what I ever did to her to deserve to be treated the way she treated me," Regina's blood began to boil with emotion, "I'd ask her why she hated me so much that she had to kill the one person I was meant to be with…"

"These are all questions. Is there anything you'd say to your mother?"

Regina stared out the window at the docks, thinking of her mother again. Not the mean and cruel woman she had known, though, but the warm woman with a heart that she remembered.

"I'd tell her that I have a son and I love him the way a mother should love their child. The way she should have loved me. I would tell her that I was a horrible queen. I would tell her that she was awful to me and that I don't forgive her… But, I would tell her that I love her."

"Do you love her?" Archie asked out of his own personal curiosity.

"Yes," Regina responded, genuine sincerity in her voice, "I love her. She's my mother."

Archie scribbled more notes onto his paper. He was shocked. This woman standing in his office had experienced so much abuse and trauma at the hands of her mother, yet she still loved her. Archie remembered his own parents and how he loathed them because of what they did and how they treated him. He didn't understand.

"And your father?" the doctor asked.

"I'd like to be done for the day, Dr. Hopper, I'm sorry." the woman said, collected her coat, and walked out the door.

* * *

Emma's phone buzzed on the counter. As she listened to the voice on the other end, she was dumbfounded.

"What is it?" David asked, expecting the call to be from a citizen needing help from a hero.

"Where's Mary Margaret?"

Emma knocked on the door of the Mills residence. Without waiting for a response, she entered.

"Henry?" she called into the house.

"Mom?" Henry said, coming from the kitchen with a glass of orange juice.

"Hey, kid, something came up and your mom asked if you could spend the night with me," Emma lied, "So grab your stuff! I've got Granny's in the car."

Without questioning his mom, Henry ran up the stairs. Emma hoped suspicion had gone over the boy's head.

* * *

Mary Margaret and David pulled up to The Rabbit Hole. Of all the calls to be getting on a Friday night, they had never expected this one. After entering the establishment, the couple was immediately greeted by the bartender.

"She's been here since noon," he said, pointing to a figure in the corner, "I stopped serving her about an hour ago. Bar protocol is to call the sheriff if a customer can't drive themselves home."

Snow looked at the clock on the wall. Regina had been here for over seven hours, drinking for nearly six of those. Taking a glass of water off the bar, Snow made her way towards the Mayor.


	11. Into the Night

"Snow White!" Regina's eyes lit up as she saw the woman walking towards her, "Here I've saved you some apples!"

The woman let out a cackle as she held out an apple slice from her drink.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Don't worry. See!" she rambled, taking a bite out of it.

"Regina, drink this," David said, taking the glass out of his wife's hand and placing it on the table.

"I've really been enjoying these other drinks, though," she said in a bubbly voice that unnerved the duo. Neither of them had ever seen the woman like this before.

"Regina, drink the water," Snow said earnestly.

"Yes, your majesty," the Mayor responded.

* * *

David had dropped his wife and the Mayor off at the house on Mifflin Street.

"I need to go on patrol," he said, kissing his wife's hand goodbye, "Call me when you want to be picked up."

Snow nodded, dragging her ex-stepmother up the walkway and into the house.

"So, Snow, what should we do?" Regina slurred, "Braid each other's hair? Have a pillow fight? Make some margaritas and watch _Friends_?"

Snow rolled her eyes. The last thing she had expected to do tonight was babysit; Regina of all people. As the mayor stumbled around her residence, Snow took a seat at the dining room table. She heard rustling come from the kitchen but didn't care enough to see what the grown woman was doing. Within the minute, Regina entered the dining room carrying two glasses.

"Relax, it's water," she said with a smirk. Still unsure, Snow hesitantly sniffed the liquid. Clumsily, the mayor bobbled into a chair.

"Thank you for picking me up," Regina said, sipping at her water. She seemed more herself now.

"Where's Henry?" she asked as though the boy had been lost for days.

"He's with Emma. She didn't think it was a good idea that he saw you like this."

The look on Regina's face changed momentously. She held her head in her hands, slamming her elbows onto the table. The room around her began to spin; she pressed the heel of her hands into her eyes.

"I'm a terrible mother," she mumbled, screaming inside her head for the room to be still.

"No, you're not, Regina. You just made a mistake. Henry will never know it happened and you can sleep it off and forget about it."

Regina shook her head.

"So, what happened?" Mary Margaret asked, thumbing the engraving if Henry's name on her glass.

"What do you mean?" Regina said, pressing her hands harder into her brow bone.

"Regina Mills, Madam Mayor of Storybrooke, has never been one to publicly intoxicate herself," Snow jested, "Something had to have happened."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Well I do, and I will sit here until you tell me or pass out. Your choice."

Sitting back in her chair, Snow crossed her arms. She'd always imagined this is what she would have done with Emma had she gotten the chance to raise her. In her thoughts, she dreamed Emma would come home past curfew and she would sit at the table waiting, in this exact position.

"I had a rather difficult session with Dr. Hopper today. There. Is that what you want to hear?"

Regina's temper began to heat her blood. The woman sitting next to her at the table didn't flinch.

"You wouldn't understand," Regina added.

"Try me," Snow spat back. She was tired of walking on eggshells.

"We all know you've been having an awful time, Regina, but things are starting to get out of hand."

"You have no idea what you're talking about," the mayor said through her teeth.

"You're out playing the part of the town drunk, you've been avoiding everyone that isn't Archie or Henry, and you haven't slept in who knows how long!"

Shock hit Regina like a gust of wind.

"Henry talks. He worries. He knows you don't think he notices you pacing your room at night, but he does," Snow's tone softened.

"Don't talk to me like you know what I've been going through," fire raged below Regina's surface, "You don't understand, you can't."

Her words came out like bullets, not a slur to be found.

"Then try to make me understand," the princess pleaded, "If not for me, then do it for your son."

Regina stared straight ahead, into the entryway. She thought, if she looked hard enough, she would be able to see out the front door, out at the town.

"What were you running from?"

Twirling the glass in her hand, a single tear fell onto Regina's lap.

"I had a difficult session with Dr. Hopper today," she said in an almost whisper.

Snow didn't know whether she was more frustrated with the woman or sad for her.

"You already said that," annoyance suffocated the words.

Regina didn't respond. She wished she had poured something harder into her glass than water, anything would have done the trick.

"Regina, what was so horrible that you needed to drink it away?"

Silence.

"Fine. You know what? Two can play at that game."

The schoolteacher sat back in her chair once more. As her mind cleared, thoughts and emotions Regina had tried to suppress began clawing their way back.

"We told Henry that a town emergency came up, so you'd better come up with something believable by the time he gets back here tomorrow."

Regina didn't hear the advice given by the woman next to her. The clawing at the back of her mind was taking precedence over whatever nonsense Snow had to say. Archie's words just echoed over and over in her head.

_"And your father?"_

Regina felt as though she was going to be sick.

"I need to go," she said, surprising herself. Standing up, she rushed towards the front door.

"Regina, where are you going?" Snow grabbed her by the arm, but her grasp wasn't strong enough to keep the mayor from slipping out the door and disappearing into the night.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Thank you so much to everyone who has been following along! I post as I write so as the holidays and finals approach, postings may become more sporadic with more time between. I will try my hardest to keep posting as often as I can, though. Please leave reviews and let me know what you think!**


	12. Be Here, Now, Forever

It had begun to rain. The clock above the library read 11:30. Regina walked down the center of Main Street, her heels in one hand and a bottle in the other. No matter how much she drank, she never seemed to rid herself of a clear head. She didn't want the night to end. The solitude was calming, and the alcohol warmed her bones. The town was peaceful at night. The lights were dim, the roads quiet, and the sound of the waves from the dock could be heard for miles around.

Although the drinking had no effect on her mind, its presence was well established in her legs. She'd stumbled a few times on her walk. Looking up at the night sky, Regina staggered once again. Landing hard on the ground, she took another swig from the bottle and stared up at the stars. The constellations were so different in this land. The stars were dimmer as if the absence of magic hindered their luster. Closing her eyes, and feeling the rain on her face, Regina hoped time would stop. Hoped she could be here, now, forever.

* * *

"Okay, but hear me out, if they'd have had the technology capable of space travel in the Enchanted Forest, do you think they would have used it?" Henry asked with a serious tone. His mother had whipped up a bowl of popcorn and the two sat on a pile of pillows on the floor of the apartment. They'd watched every movie in the drawer under the television twice over, so Henry decided to invent a new game: _Would they have in the Enchanted Forest?_

"Kid, no matter how many different ways you frame that question, my answer is still going to be that I have absolutely no idea," Emma laughed. Not only had Henry incorporated Star Wars into almost all of his questions, but he was also talking about if gravity, or lack-there-of, would affect magic on the moon.

Emma's phone began to buzz.

"I need to get this. Why don't you go hop in the shower before your grandma gets back and uses all the hot water."

With a nod, Henry took the empty popcorn bowl, placed it on the counter, and entered the bathroom.

"Sherriff Swan," Emma answered the phone sarcastically. It was her father who was calling, and she had a hunch it would be him complaining about his patrol.

"We have a situation."

* * *

David downed the last sip of coffee and threw the empty cup into the back of his patrol car. His patrol would be ending soon and one of the volunteer guys would be taking over. As he made his last turn onto the main street, his heart dropped into the pit of his stomach. Someone was lying in the middle of the road.

Regina heard the vehicle approaching but something, deep within her, that she had not heard in years told her to stay. A voice, the voice of an innocent child, told her to stay. Her voice. So, she didn't move. She lay there on the asphalt as the rain fell around her, hoping that this would be the place her life ended. A blissful feeling of drunkenness finally took her into its warm embrace.

Slowly, Charming drove the car towards the figure. Readying himself with a flashlight and a hand on his pistol, he got out of the car. Nearing the body, he realized who he was looking at.

Regina sank deeper into a state of senseless drunkery. The world around her blurred. A muffled voice came from somewhere. It was too late, though. She'd drifted too far too fast.

Kneeling down, David analyzed the scene.

"Damnit Regina, what's going on?" he muttered under his breath. Placing his hand on the woman's shoulder, he prayed she wasn't dead. As if she had heard her prayer, the woman uttered a few words on nonsense. Relief washed over the prince.

The woman before him was in no condition to walk. The bottle of wine next to her told him as much of the story as he needed to know for the moment. Gingerly picking the woman up, he placed her in the back of the patrol car. She was cold and wet from the rain. How long had she been there? Getting in behind the wheel, the prince sat for a moment paralyzed in thought. Never had he imagined in his wildest dreams that he'd be picking up a drunken Regina, but twice in one day? What was going on? Picking up his phone, he dialed Emma.

* * *

Regina awoke, on a hard bed in a musty smelling room, to the faint sound of arguing. Expecting an awful headache, she was pleasantly surprised to find she was still intoxicated.

"What do we do? Call Archie?" a man's voice said.

"It's the middle of the night. She hasn't tried to hurt herself or anyone else. I say we just let her sleep it off in here like anyone else."

Regina recognized these voices, but she couldn't place them in her current state.

"How do you know she didn't try to hurt herself? She was lying in the middle of the road! For all we know, this is a cry for help."

There wasn't a response.

Changing positions on the bed, she turned to face the wall and returned to her dreamless slumber.


	13. The Job Description

Awakening to a loud boom of thunder, Regina sat up. It was almost as if she had blinked. When last she was awake, two people were arguing about her. Now, knowing at least an hour had passed, she was alone.

"Madam Mayor," Charming acknowledged her as he walked in the room, "Can I get you anything? Water? Aspirin? Another blanket?"

The woman didn't respond. She wished she had been left in the middle of the road. Laying her head back down on the flat pillow, Regina feared falling asleep. The alcohol had worn off along with the relief of dreamless sleep that it brought.

Storming into the station, Sherriff Swan faced her father with a frustrated huff.

"Archie says if she's not hurt anyone or herself, yet, then he doesn't have to come until tomorrow. If she were to have some sort of mental break, though, we are supposed to take her to the hospital to be put on psychiatric watch."

The blonde had not noticed Regina was awake and the once Evil Queen intended to keep it that way. Taking his daughter by the forearm, David led her into the office and closed the door.

"Is that all he said?" David said frustratedly, "We're just supposed to watch her until morning like any other drunk?"

Emma nodded. Taking a step back, the whole world seemed to collapse on her.

"Emma, what's wrong?"

"What am I going to tell Henry?" she started, "Am I going to tell Henry? I mean, he's a smart kid. He'll figure everything out eventually. I just…"

Emma stepped forward and buried her face in her father's shoulder.

"How do I tell my son his mom doesn't want to be alive anymore?"

Wrapping his arms around his daughter, David wished he had an answer for her.

* * *

Regina sat up and leaned against the wall. Her mind was empty, yet her thoughts seemed to run rampant at the same time. Noticing her bottle of wine sitting on one of the desks, she tried to magic it to her. Much to her dismay, a black cuff had been placed around her wrist.

"Next time I'll bring my bedazzler and we can go to town on that thing," Emma joked, stepping out of the office and towards the cell. Regina didn't respond, but she did appreciate the sarcasm. If she had learned anything from Rumplestiltskin, it was that there's never a bad time for wit.

"So, are you going to tell me what's been going on?" Emma asked, pulling a chair up to face the cell. There was still no response from the woman.

"Look, Regina, I talked to Archie and he was able to give me some insight on what's been going on in your sessions."

Saying this caused Regina to look up at her with a stern face and harsh glare.

"He is legally allowed to break confidentiality if it is believed that his client is putting themselves at risk," Emma said quickly, trying to explain everything before she received the wrath of the mayor.

"I'm not putting myself at risk," Regina mumbled.

"Is that so? How do you explain the state David found you in not three hours ago, then?"

Regina hunted for a witty comeback, a biting response, anything that wouldn't expose her vulnerability. Her search was fruitless; she decided resorting back to her usual method of staring at her hands in her lap was the best option.

"Regina, please, I'm just trying to understand. We all are. We just want to help you. From what Archie said, your sessions have been going well. He didn't give me details, but Henry says you don't sleepwalk anymore. That's good, right?"

Emma was pulling all sorts of things out of thin air hoping to get some sort of response from Regina. Her patience was running thin, though.

"Let me know when you're ready to talk," she said. Standing, she slammed her chair into the desk she retrieved it from and walked out of the station.

As if they'd devised a plan, David walked out of the office and took up the same chair his daughter had sat in. Unlike her, he didn't move the chair closer to the cell. Instead, he sat back in it, put his feet on the desk, and took out his phone.

"Have you ever watched these fat cat videos? Henry always sends them to me," the man said, laughing at the small screen. Regina couldn't help but smile. Henry always sent her videos to watch.

"So, you never answered my question. Need anything? Water? Aspirin? Another blanket?"

Lightning flashed outside and was followed by a loud clap of thunder. The sound caused Regina to shrink into the corner of her cell where the bed sat against the wall.

"I'll get you another blanket," the prince said. Out of a drawer the man produced a thin, navy bundle.

"So why'd you pick the middle of the road, of all places? Wouldn't a bench have been more comfortable? Or someone's front lawn, specifically your own?"

Keeping up with the silent treatment, Regina took the bundle with a nod and returned to her place in the corner of the cell. A few moments of silence turned in minutes.

"Thank you," she finally said in a whisper. There was so much she wanted to say. _Thank you for not hitting me with your car. Thank you for not spilling the wine I was drinking. Thank you for not treating me like I'm crazy. Thank you for judging the last place I wanted to be before I tried to end my life._

"What can I say?" David responded, "It's in the job description."


	14. In Spite of Her

Storming out of the office, Emma dialed her mother.

"Hey, how's Henry?"

"He's fine," her mother responded, "He's fast asleep."

There was a longer than normal pause in the conversation.

"Emma," Mary Margaret said, "Are you okay?"

"Mom," Emma uttered in a way that caused her mother to clench her teeth, "I don't know what to do."

"Talk to me, what's happening?"

* * *

Regina and David sat in silence as lightning flashed bright against the station walls. David lounged with his phone close to his face. The stream of cat videos playing on the screen seemed never-ending.

Lying back on the bed, Regina had no choice but to allow all of her thoughts encapsulate her. She thought of her mother and how she would have reveled in the thought of her daughter trying to end her life because of a few bad memories. She thought of what her father said that day he had found her standing at the window. What he had said the first time she'd tried to end her life.

* * *

Regina stood at the open window, the wind blowing her hair back and whipping her skirt around her body. At just fifteen, she had already decided this was the most beautiful place in all the lands. From here she could see the meadow where she rode each day, the river, and the edge of the forest. Taking a step onto the windowsill, she took in the view for the last time.

"Regina, what are you doing?" her father's voice came from behind her. Turning her head, Henry could see his daughter's eyes were filled with tears.

"Daddy, I can't live like this anymore. I don't want to."

Quickly coming to understand what his daughter met, Henry's eyes widened.

"Regina, please," he said, concealing the fear in his voice, "Please come down. Please talk to me."

His daughter shook her head. It took every ounce of strength in Henry's body to stop himself from crying. He needed to be brave, if not for his daughter, then for himself. As Henry took a step forward, Regina loosened her grip on the wall and began to lean forward.

"Regina, you don't have to do this?"

Taking another step forward, he took his daughter's hand. He did not pull her off the ledge, though. He just held it.

"There's nothing else I can do," his daughter responded, still staring out at the world, "I can't live with her anymore."

Henry's heart sank into the floor. He had failed his daughter and he knew it.

"Don't live with her, then," Henry started. His daughter turned to face him completely. It was then that he noticed her bruised eye and the slightly swollen bridge of her nose.

"Regina, live in spite of her."

Taking both of his daughter's hands, Henry squeezed them.

"If you won't do it for yourself, do it for your father, please."

Gently, Regina stepping off the ledge of the window and into her father's arms.

* * *

Her father was no longer alive, and she was the only one to blame for that. A tear forged its way down her temple.

"Do you want to talk about it?" David questioned, still staring at his phone.

"What time is it?" Regina asked hoarsely, changing the subject.

"About a quarter after three," the sheriff replied. Regina felt as though she hadn't slept for days. In fact, she didn't think she had.

"Madam Mayor," the man's voice took a more serious tone, "Can I ask you a question?"

The mayor did not respond. Taking her silence as neither a yes nor a no, David pressed on with his question.

"Were you trying to kill yourself?"

Knowing the man already knew the answer to his question, Regina turned to face the wall.

* * *

The thundering of the storm had subsided. Regina listened as a heavy fall of rain battered the roof. Footsteps echoed from the hallway. Marching in came Snow White and Snow White Jr.

"Regina we need to talk," Emma said pulling two chairs towards the cell and shooing her father out of the room. The brunette didn't respond.

"Hey," Emma said vehemently, "Get up."

"Please, just leave," the mayor said, turning to face the two women.

"Reinga, we aren't leaving until we find a way to help you," Mary Margaret said, taking a seat next to her daughter.

"Please, leave," Regina's temper was starting to bubble.

The mother-daughter-duo sat firm. Clenching her fist, Regina wished she could produce a fireball.

"Regina, why won't you talk to us?" Snow pushed.

"You, of all people, would never understand what I'm going through," the mayor replied, standing and walking close to the bars, spitting out the words.

"Help us to understand," Emma urged. Regina stopped, collecting her thoughts and letting them boil in her rage.

"You got everything I ever wanted," she finally said, teary-eyed, at Snow, "You had the perfect life. You were loved by all. You even got the man you loved no matter how hard I tried to tear you two apart. I ruined my life trying to ruin yours."

Regina backed away from the cell bars.

"And you," she said now staring at Emma.

"Look, Regina, I –"

"You spent your life wondering why your parents didn't want you. Then you found them and discovered they wanted you, they'd always wanted you, and that they loved you. All that awful childhood fear melted away. All you were left with were memories of a lonely childhood."

Nothing was holding back the mayor's tears now.

"I spent my entire life with a mother who I know didn't want me. An entire life with a mother that I know doesn't love me no matter how much I love her. It isn't fair. I never did anything to gain her hatred. An entire life of unwarranted abuse and torture for what? Not wanting to fulfill her dreams of being queen? Loving a stable boy? It just doesn't make any sense."

Emma and her mother sat side by side, holding hands, unsure of what to say to the woman in the cell. Regina no longer seemed to be talking directly to them, but to the universe instead.

"I just wanted to be happy," the prisoner said to the wall, "To be loved, and what did I do? I killed the one person left in all the lands that loved me."

Slowly, the woman's legs failed her and she sank to the ground. Emma looked at her mother, nonverbally asking for answers, but Snow's gaze didn't falter from the mayor.

"Regina, what are you talking about?" the blonde asked. Snow squeezed her hand, hard. She didn't understand why the conversation had taken this sharp turn.

"That was the price of the curse," Regina whispered from the floor.

"I don't understand."

Emma's hand was now turning white from the pressure her mother was exerting upon it.

"He just wanted to help me, and I killed him for it. I killed my own father"

Emma was speechless. Had her parents known this? Regina relived that moment, the moment she ripped her father's heart out. Over and over it replayed in her mind.

"I never even said goodbye, really. I just held him until… He was the one person I was living for."

Snow stood up, handed Regina the bottle of wine that was on the desk, and left. Taking the bottle, the woman curled up on the floor and listened to the rain.

* * *

_**Hey guys! Thanks so much for reading and for following the story thus far. I know this was kind of a rough chapter, and if something about it is inaccurate, please don't hesitate to reach out and let me know. I wan the story to be as accurate as possible. Don't forget to leave a review and let me know what you think! **_

_**Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1-800-273-8255 - People are there to help if you need them.**_


	15. Every Kind of Fear

Emma stormed out after her mother.

"Woah, woah, woah. You don't just get to leave like that."

"I need to get back to the apartment, Henry is there alone," Mary Margaret said, pulling an excuse out of thin air.

"He's not an infant," Emma bit back, wanting to get to the bottom of things. Snow continued to walk away, despite her daughter's confrontation.

"Mary Margaret –"

"Emma please, I just can't," the princess said, walking out the door.

* * *

In the parking lot sat David, in his patrol car, staring at his phone. Mary Margaret rushed over to his car and opened the door, allowing rain to leave droplets on the seat. Slamming the door, Snow put her head in her hands. Immediately, Charming put his phone back into his coat pocket.

"Hey," her husband said, "What's going on?"

"I-I can't," Snow stuttered through heavy breaths, "I d-don't, I-I can't."

"It's okay, just take a breath."

The woman's shoulders bobbed up and down as she took staggered breaths.

"I just don't know what to think. I don't know how to feel. How am I supposed to feel? I want, so badly, for Regina to get better. I want her to be happy. But," Snow stopped, looking at her husband through tearful eyes, "Charming, she took everything from us. She killed my father. How do I move past that?"

David took his wife's hand in his own.

"What do you want to do?" he asked her.

"I don't know. That's what I've been trying to tell you! I don't know what I'm supposed to do!" Snow's voice rose with frustration.

"I don't want to know what you think you are supposed to do," David said with utmost calm in his voice, "What is your heart telling you to do?"

Snow paused.

"I want to forgive her."

David pulled his wife close and pressed his lips against her forehead.

"I'll take you home."

* * *

Emma walked back into the department to find Regina no longer lying on the floor. Whilst the blonde and her mother had been in the hallway, the mayor had taken it upon herself to place the, now empty, bottle of wine outside the bars of her cell and reclined on the cot within her cell.

"I presume Henry is staying with your parents," Regina said as Emma drew nearer. Her tone had changed from hot anger to cold indifference.

"Yeah," Emma responded. She was so unsure of how she felt. So unsure of where she fit in with the situation.

"There's a note on the desk in my office addressed to him. I'd appreciate it if you'd get rid of it for me…please."

The savior searched for something to say, anything. Instead, all words escaped her and the two sat in silence. What would she have done if Regina's attempt had been successful? How would Henry have reacted? Emma had known lots of kids in the system that tried to take their own lives; know a few who had completed it. She knew that the woman in the cell was broken, everyone could see that, everyone who knew her story knew she was cracked and chipped. Never had any of them ever imagined she was this broken, though.

Taking up the same position her father had been in not half an hour ago, she pulled out her phone. On its screen was a message from her son with a link. Another cat video.

* * *

Morning came quickly for the mayor. The light shone brightly in her keeping as her eyes struggled to shake off the heaviness of sleep. She was alone in the station. Sitting up, her head swam; the cool brick wall opened its arms for her to lean upon. With her sight finally adjusting to the brightness of the room, she saw her cell door was open. Her coat, phone, and a cup of coffee sat on the desk closest with a note next to them:

_ Madam Mayor,_

_ Your car has been taken to your house._

_ Appointment with Dr. Hopper scheduled for 2 pm at a place of your choosing._

_ Please go._

Taking her things, Regina walked out the door.

* * *

Emma turned the knob of the mayor's office door. Expecting it to be locked she'd brought along her picking tools, but, to her surprise, it was open. Stepping in, everything was as she had imagined it to be. Nothing out of place except for one thing, a letter sitting on the desk with her son's name on it. Picking it up, Emma fought the urge to unseal the envelope.

Questions whipped through her thoughts of what to do. Did she give it back to Regina? Did she give it to Henry at a later time? She so badly wanted to open it. The mystery surrounding Regina's actions were beginning to eat her alive.

Folding the envelope in half, Emma stuck it in her pocket and left the office.

* * *

"Regina, is this the first time you've ever attempted taking your own life?" Archie started the session. Regina had chosen the comfort of her home for their meeting, though, Archie sensed there wasn't anywhere, at the moment, that the mayor really felt comfortable.

The woman shook her head. Jotting a few notes down, Dr. Hopper asked yet another question, changing the subject.

"How have your dreams been? Anything better? Worse?"

"They've been better," Regina said. Something in her tone led the psychiatrist the believe otherwise.

"Have you been sleeping?"

Regina did not respond. Instead, she turned to staring into her hands, her usual response to questions she cared not to answer.

"How many hours have you slept in the last few days?" Archie pressed on.

"Counting last night?" Regina attempted to joke.

"No."

The man's voice changed. He'd never had any tone but soft and caring, but, now, he was firm.

"How many hours, Regina?"

"I don't know," she mumbled, "five, maybe six."

Shaking his head, Archie put down his notes.

"Regina, you know that's not okay. What's been going on that you aren't sleeping? Are the dreams getting worse?"

"They're not worse, they're…different. Before they were always distorted memories. Now, they're more like fears," the mayor choked out.

"What kind of fears?"

"Every kind of fear. I have dreams that Henry will be taken away from me, or worse, that he'll leave again. Dreams that millions of arrows are flying at me all at once. I have dreams that my father–" her voice cracked.

"Is that what brought about these recent happenings, Regina? Your father?"

The once Evil Queen nodded.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I…I don't know."

Archie looked back at his notes from their previous sessions. Their last session had ended abruptly when a question about her father had been asked.

"Regina, do you remember where the last session left off? You were expressing the things you'd like to say to your mother."

Regina nodded.

"Is there anything else you'd like to say to her?"

Shaking her head, Regina began to tense. She knew exactly the path that she was being led down.

"Let's move onto your father. This time maybe start with some questions, like you did before."

Almost immediately the woman before him changed. No longer was she Regina, the mayor, the Evil Queen. Sitting in her place was a woman so broken and beaten and hurt that she could barely hold herself up.

"I just want to know why. Why did he always stand-by while mother hurt me? Why was he always there to help me heal after but never stopped her? Is that why he stayed by me all those years? When I did all those awful things. Was he just waiting for me to heal? For me to wake up one day and be his little girl again?"

The woman gripped the edge of her chair as tears poured down her cheeks.

"He watched me become my mother and wasn't able to stop me, just like he was never able to stop her."

Archie didn't say anything, knowing that a conversation as being played out in the woman's head.

"He tried to stop her, in the beginning at least. I remember him fighting against her magic, struggling to breathe. He once broke his arm trying to stop her. He was just as abused as I was, I just didn't know it at the time. It-it just wasn't fair. He chose to be with mother, I didn't. He could have left. He could have taken me away!"

Waiting a moment for the woman to gain control of herself, Archie suddenly saw another side of his patient. He'd seen the evil, the vulnerable, the broken. This, though... this was another thing entirely. This was not the voice of a broken woman. This was the voice of a helpless child.

"What would you tell your father, Regina?"

Taking a stuttering breath, Regina looked up at the ceiling.

"I'd thank you him, for always standing by my side. For being my father until the very end. You were my best friend."

"You were always the person I wanted to grow up to be. The one who taught me how I should have been loved. Henry isn't mine, but I see you in him every day. He's got your heart, Daddy," Wiping tears away with her fingertips, a heavy weight seemed to gradually lift from Regina's back.

"He makes me be a better person, the way you used to. He loves me when it seems no one else does…I'm sorry."

Archie stared at her. She wasn't apologizing to him. It was her father. She was apologizing to her father, wherever he might be.

"I'm sorry…"

* * *

_**Hey Guys!**_

_**Thanks so much for all of you who have continued to follow the story. Please keep leaving reviews to let me know what you think!**_


	16. Breaking the Silence

Henry awoke that morning to the smell of breakfast. Rushing to get dressed, he ran downstairs to see his grandparents and mother standing around as David made pancakes.

"Hey, kid," his mother greeted him, "Want some juice?"

Nodding, Henry sat on a stool at the bar. The air in the apartment was odd, tense almost. This continued on through their family brunch. Finishing his meal, Henry set down his fork and stared at his mother.

"What?" Emma said, cutting one of her pancakes.

"What's going on?" Henry asked. Turning to look at her parents, Emma knew she couldn't lie. Henry was many things, but he wasn't stupid, especially when it came to reading situations like these.

"We can't tell you," Emma said softly.

"What do you mean you can't tell me?" Henry fumed, "This has to do with my mom, doesn't it? What happened?"

"Kid, I told you, I can't tell you," Emma said. Her words came off as annoyed, but she was anything but annoyed. She knew Regina needed to be the one to decide what to tell Henry. She also knew that if someone didn't tell him something he'd assume the worst.

Standing up from the table, Henry grabbed his jacket and headed towards the door.

"Henry, you can't leave," Mary Margaret said.

"Why not?" Henry yelled at them, "What aren't you telling me?"

The room filled with suffocating tension.

"Henry, let's go for a drive," David said. Taking his coat from the back of his chair, he put his hand on the back of Henry's neck and ushered him out the door.

As soon as the door closed, Emma laid her head down on the table. Snow placed her hand on the back of her daughter's head.

"I know. I feel the same way."

* * *

The mayor and her psychiatrist had sat in silence for what seemed like hours. Archie kept a constant gaze in the direction of the woman, but Regina never looked up from her hands. Finally, she broke the silence.

"Sometimes, when I wake up, it doesn't seem real. All the pain, the abuse, the loss, it all seems like a bad dream. I feel like I'm a child again, waking up to parents who love me in a home where I'm not a disappointment. Then…then everything comes flooding back."

"All bad?" Archie asked. The woman's eyes seemed as though they were watching memories.

"No," a small smile began to creep across her mouth. A new light began to show on her face.

"I have Henry."

Her smile faded.

"Regina?"  
"Oh, Henry," her eyes filled with tears once more, "I've been so awful to him."

"Do you want to expand on that?" Archie asked, readying his pen and paper.

"Oh, you know exactly what I mean, Cricket," Regina bit back. Keeping his composure, Archie did not react to the nickname.

"I'd like to hear your side of it."

Regina sat for a moment, running her fingers through each other, thinking.

"I never spanked him, or physically punished him in any way," Regina said, looking up to assure herself that the man in front of her heard her words, "But I was terrible to him."

Her words were pushed out; followed by a sharp inhale. She covered her mouth with her fingertips.

"I was awful to him. His entire childhood was a manipulation. Hell, I made him think he was crazy! I…"

A sob whorled through her body.

"I made him believe I didn't love him. I'm almost as bad as my mother."

"Regina," Archie said, folding his hands together over his notepad, "You are not your mother. If you take nothing else from these sessions, I want you to remember that you are not Cora."

"But I am!" she screamed at him, "When Emma broke the curse and woke Henry up, do you know what thoughts went through my mind? I was so relieved at first that my son, the love of my life, was alive. I was so relieved that I hadn't murdered my son!" Fighting for air, the woman was forced to pause for breath.

"But I only thought of him for a second. Do you know what my next thought was? Magic. I cared so much about magic that, in that moment, I forgot about my son. You cannot tell me, after knowing that, that I am not my mother."

Suddenly rising to her feet, Regina began to pace the room.

"What makes you feel that you've become your mother?" Archie asked, seeing something he hadn't noticed before. On the woman's wrist was a black cuff. He'd known David had placed it on her after he'd picked her up last night, but Archie didn't realize it hadn't been taken off.

"Haven't you been listening?" she screamed at him, "I am everything my mother was! You weren't there the day the curse was broken. You didn't see his face! I told him I loved him, and, in his eyes, he questioned it. I did that! I made my son question whether I really loved him."

Standing in the doorway, now, Regina faced the entryway.

"I'd like to be done for the day."

Dr. Hopper gathered his and left the room.

"Regina," Archie turned around as he opened the front door, "You are not your mother, your father made sure of that."

And with that, the man closed the door and walked down the path away from the house.


	17. A Nightmare Silenced

There was a knock on the front door of the Mifflin Street house. Regina ignored it. She sat on the couch in her living room alone, and that's how she wished to remain. Another knock came and then another after that. Finally, the knocking stopped. The click of the locking being turned echoed through the entryway.

"Regina?" a voice called. The mayor didn't respond. Sitting still, as if in a trance, she waited.

"Regina?" the voice came again. Emma stood in the doorway of the room waiting for a response. The dark-haired woman turned her head. Her eyes were red, but her face was expressionless.

"Miss Swan."

"Can we talk?" her tone was much different than the one she'd used the previous night. The mayor didn't respond, but Emma took a seat anyway.

"What should we do about Henry?" Emma asked, "There was a bit of an incident this morning at breakfast. He knows something's up."

Regina hinted at a smile. Of course, he knew something was up. Oblivion has never been in her son's blood.

"What should we –," Emma stopped. This wasn't her decision.

"What do you want to do?"

Regina hadn't thought this far ahead. She'd been so lost in her thoughts after her session with Archie that the idea that something would have to be done did not even cross her mind.

"I-I have this," Emma continued, pulling the folded envelope out of her pocket, "I didn't know what you wanted me to do with it."

Regina took the letter into her hands. She hadn't even remembered what she had written. Running her finger over her son's name etched onto the paper, she took a deep breath.

"Can you bring him by in a few hours?"

* * *

Swinging open the car door, Henry barreled out of his seat and ran to the front door of his house. The entire Charming family followed suit, carrying Henry's things. Barging into his house, Henry neglected to close the door behind him.

"Henry Daniel, what have I told you about leaving the door open?" Regina said as she walked into the entryway. Her son ran up the stairs and embraced his mother.

"Alright, kid, we've got your backpack, overnight bag," Emma said, walking into the house with her parents, "Your science project that, according to Miss Blanchard, here, apparently is not a real assignment and was just an excuse to eat popsicles, and David's got … What are you carrying?"

David shrugged his shoulders and set the brown cardboard box down with a huff.

"Well, you'll know where to find us," Snow said, ushering her family out the door.

"Actually," Regina said, "I'd like you all to stay, if that's okay."

Leading them into the dining room where she had prepared an assortment of baked goods, Regina asked them to all take a seat and requested a few moments alone with her son.

"Henry, can you wait in the living room? I need to talk to Miss Swan and your grandparents."

Nodding, the boy left the room. Taking a seat at the table, she began the speech she'd been practicing in her head the last half an hour.

"I'd like to start off by saying thank you for last night."

"Regina," Snow interrupted, "If this is too much to talk about with us, you don't have to."

"No," the mayor responded, "I need to do this, for me. I want to thank you and I want to apologize for last night. I know I said some things that weren't called for. I-I also want to ask you to stay until Henry is sure he wants to sleep here tonight."

As Regina walked out, the group sat stunned. What was happening?

* * *

"Henry, before I say anything," Regina started, sitting down next to her son with an envelope in hand, "I want you to read this."

Taking the envelope from his mother, he noticed it was addressed to him in her handwriting. He looked up at her to question it, but she had turned the other way.

_Henry,_

_I never thought I would be writing this letter to you. I haven't been well for quite a long time. _

_I want you to know that none of this was your fault and there is nothing you could have done to prevent this. _

_I love you more than life itself. Keep being the brave, kind, amazing young man I know you will be._

_I'll love you forever._

_Mom_

"What is this?" Henry asked. His mother didn't respond.

"Mom," he said more forceful, "What is this about?"

Regina turned to him, eyes red-brimmed. Knowing exactly what he had just read, a burning rose in Henry's throat.

"Henry," his mother said in a hoarse voice, "I am so sorry. I–"

"Mom, no," Henry cut her off.

"Henry, please, I need to say this. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I know I've done a lot of things to you that have made your life miserable and I-"

Regina was cut off again by Henry, except this time he was leaving the room. She didn't follow him or call out. She, instead, sat on the sofa. Staring into the palms of her folded hands, she bit her lip, trying to hold her tears in. Inhaling a long breath, Regina tried to accept that she may never see her son again. She closed her eyes and waited for the sound of the front door closing.

"I've been waiting to give this to you," a voice echoed through the entryway, "I started making it … well, I don't really remember when I started making it, but it's not finished yet."

He set a faded scrapbook down on the coffee table in front of his mother. Flipping through it, he described every photo.

"This was after my first day of school. Do you remember? I cried and you were late to work because I wouldn't let go of you?. And this was my second grade Christmas pageant. You stayed up most the night making that reindeer costume."

Turning page after page of the book her son had made, she cried tears of happiness. All of these memories were so precious to her, yet she had forgotten nearly all of them.

"I know that you've done lots of things you regret, but that doesn't make me love you any less," Henry said. Regina wept tears of relief. There were so many things she felt she still needed to tell him, but those could wait. He'd find out in due time.

* * *

The clock in the town square struck six o'clock. Regina and Henry snuggled onto the couch as a movie, one that they'd both seen thousands of times, started to play. The voices in Regina's head began to chatter as they did whenever she had a moment of thought to herself. They were interrupted, this time, by her son saying, "How have your dreams been?"

"They're getting better," she answered. She'd started gaining more control over the inner-workings of her mind and could now alter what she was seeing. She couldn't change her memories, but she could change how she saw them.

"Mom," Henry said, turning towards her, "Can I ask you something?"

Regina had been asked this same question so many times she had no doubt in her mind that Henry was sure she'd say yes. Nodding to her son, Regina saw the boy take a breath and gather his courage.

"Do you ever wish you could forget it?" her son asked, meekly, "Forget what happened to you?"

"I don't know," Regina said, entirely unsure of what her life would be if that were possible, "I don't know if I'd be the same person. All that pain, it made me who I am. If I didn't remember, I would have never cast the curse, and if I'd never cast the curse, I'd have never met you."

Pressing her forehead against her son's, Regina took a deep breath. The voices in her head quieted. Not all was right in the world, but, in that moment with Henry, she wouldn't have known the difference.

* * *

**Thank you, everyone, who has followed this story! It was such fun to write and I feel like this was a great place to end it. Don't forget to leave a review and let me know what you think!**


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